Late lunch revenge

"El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First!" (lightningzone) 12/17/2013 at 15:38 • Filed to: None

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Guy in the neighboring cubicle, from my right, was humming a stupid song all day. About an hour ago, I was getting ready to order a pizza for lunch, usually being polite(when I'm not in a bad mood and because the chick from the cubicle on the left had the day off), I asked him "dude, I'm about to order a pizza, want anything?" and he said," yeah I want a pineapple, sweet corn and vegetarian Italian sausage, pizza". I was like, what? Vegetarian Italian sausage? The 10% Italian DNA, inside me, started screaming Che cazzo!!! That guy bugged me all day and he wants Vegetarian Italian sausage? No way, so I ordered him, a pizza with pepperoni, spicy sausage , bacon and beef.

The look on his face, when he opened that box, was priceless.

This is what you get for humming my brains out, Chris.

CalzoneGolem > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:40

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This guy's pizza order makes me angry.

timateo81 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:41

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Benefit-of-doubt: what song was he humming? It sounds like you're peeing in someone else's cheerios.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:41

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This guy's pizza order should not exist in this world.

Converse > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:41

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No such thing as vegetarian Italian sausage. If you want to be vegetarian, then go eat some vegetables.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > Converse 12/17/2013 at 15:42

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CKeffer > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:43

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Vegetarian......sausage? this is a thing that actually exists? Why!?!? And from what level of hell did it spring from? Seriously this is something that just should not be!

Frank Grimes > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 15:44

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I must be italian even though I am not for I feel the meat rage. Or is it meat less rage? Whatever its called I am mad.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Converse 12/17/2013 at 15:47

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Of course it exists, wonder what they will make next, peanut butter chocolate, without peanut butter?

RacecaR > timateo81 12/17/2013 at 15:55

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If he pee'd in them, then his cubicle neighbor would not eat them, since they now have "animal" matter in them.

CalzoneGolem > timateo81 12/17/2013 at 15:57

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Wait ... did you read what he wanted on his pizza?

pineapple, sweet corn and vegetarian Italian sausage

He's lucky that's all that happened to him.

Converse > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/17/2013 at 16:02

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It's no longer sausage. They should call them vegetarian sticks that resemble meat.

timateo81 > CalzoneGolem 12/17/2013 at 16:04

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my last pizza had vegan cheese on it (dairy intolerance, before you judge) so i want to weigh the level of revenge.

Private Eyes by Hall&Oates - most men are man-enough to handle a morning of this.

Away in a Manger - time to double-down on the meat foool

RacecaR > timateo81 12/17/2013 at 16:07

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Thanks, now I'll be humming Private Eyes in my head the rest of the day.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > CalzoneGolem 12/17/2013 at 16:08

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Well, I'm only 10% Italian, don't want to know how Roberto would've reacted to this.

CalzoneGolem > timateo81 12/17/2013 at 16:09

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Vegan cheese is a thing? WTF?

Also this contains no lactose. My lactose intolerant friend found this out and ate like three 1 pound bricks of it.

timateo81 > CalzoneGolem 12/17/2013 at 16:10

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lactose intolerance is different from dairy sensitivity. you can have lactose-free product that still contains dairy milk. i don't get it either, but it's true.

and yes, vegan cheese is real.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > CKeffer 12/17/2013 at 16:13

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Simple, placebo effect. People will make themselves think they eat something tasty and meaty, instead of eating a big bowl of cucumbers, broccoli and red cabbage salad, with a drop of olive oil and fine sea salt.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > timateo81 12/17/2013 at 16:20

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London Bridge, like 9999 times. The guy deserved it.

timateo81 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 16:21

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OH CRAP.

timateo81 > CKeffer 12/17/2013 at 16:22

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oh man you have no idea.

CKeffer > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 16:28

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I don't mind veggies, heck asparagus is damn tasty when seasoned with greek seasoning and olive oil and then either grilled or steamed with some lemon. I just don't want it masquerading as meat. It'd be like a dude putting on a dress and then walking into a girls locker room.....the trim is right, but the filler is just wrong.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 12/17/2013 at 16:32

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Well, they make all kinds of hipster pizzas, around here. This one is a almond, feta, mushroom, olives, golden cherry tomatoes pizza with thin herbed spelt crust.

Obviously, served on an old plank stolen from someone's fence.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Frank Grimes 12/17/2013 at 16:36

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You haven't seen his mustache mug, for his Earl Grey tea.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 16:37

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Daaaaaaamn... that seems nasty, much rather have a classic pepperoni pizza with a side of getting away from the cops, like I had the other day.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 12/17/2013 at 17:02

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Not too bad, if you put mozzarella balls instead of the tomatoes and a lot of pizza sauce. Also, you don't seem to be very friendly with the law enforcers.

Brian, The Life of > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 17:21

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That's it ... this guy needs killin'

Frank Grimes > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 17:46

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freal?( thats the shortened For real I am trying to make happen.)

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Frank Grimes 12/17/2013 at 17:52

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Yep, the whole package.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Brian, The Life of 12/17/2013 at 17:55

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Nahh, he's good for one thing, he never runs away from extra work, so when I need help, he will help me, even if I suspect that it does that to impress the boss.

Spaceball-Two > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 18:06

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Homie in the cube next to me had two hard boiled eggs for breakfast and I was sooooooo hung over.

Textured Soy Protein > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 18:44

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Except...peanut butter is already vegetarian.

My overzealously preachy vegan sister eats a lot of this stuff:

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 12/17/2013 at 20:11

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Who puts corn on a pizza!!!!

That bothers me the most